Funny Bumper Sticker Quotes

[Sasha]

Embarrassing my Children is a full-time occupation...

Dad farted and we cant get out!!

Discover wildlife! Raise twins!

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter...

Yes, their al mi-- Wait, where did that one come from?!?!

Normal: its just a dial on that washing machine...

I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying!!

The youngest ones are always troublemakers!

Take me to Wonderland, White Rabbit, this place is getting too weird...

Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure...

Question authority, but never your mother!

I'm not short, I'm fun sized!

Raised by wolves...

You probably dont recognize me without my cape...

Son of a nutcracker!!

Moms Taxi: Getting kids where they need to go...

If you knew my family, you'd understand...

Teachers are the Answer, Politian's are the obstacle...

My kid sold your honor student the answers to the test...

Shut up, hang up and drive...

The stampede has been canceled...

Little Monster On Board!!

It wasnt me, It was my Otter!! (hehe for blaze ^_^)

How about a nice hot dish of EAT SHIT AND DIE!!!

We got rid of the kids. The cat was allergic...

Im the reason Waldo is hiding!

WARNING: Contents are Under pressure and May be unstable...

You dont work full time until your a mom...

We have all the power because we have all the vaginas...

Friends: Gods way of Apologizing for your family...

I was uncool before uncool was cool...

I have a problem with low self-esteem, which is ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am...


I think that's about all I can manage for tonight. More coming soon!! ^.^

[Blaze]

It wasn't me, It was my Otter!! (hehe for blaze ^_^)

Yay!!! ^^

[Sasha]

Hahaha...

[Urban Bucket]

I just laughed myself silly with those Simi. Awesome job!

[Urban Bucket]

here are some....

Politicians and Diapers need to be changed for the same reason...

Jesus loves you; Everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

Tennis players have fuzzy balls.

The fastest way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go

Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car

I brake for........................OH SHIT NO BRAKES

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body.

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young *nods head vehemently*

We're not old people we're recycled teenagers!

IF THIS STICKER IS GETTING SMALLER, THE LIGHT IS PROBABLY GREEN

I wasn't born a bitch; men like you made me that way. <---- ME and PROUD of it

I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy

Avoid Hangovers; Stay Drunk

Before giving someone a piece of mind be sure you have enough to spare!

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Confucius say "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."

DETEST-de stuff de teacher gives de students when ya expect it de least!!!

Do not play leap frog with a unicorn.

Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!

Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!

Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION..

Earth Is The Insane Asylum For The Universe

Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Don’t Have Film.

Go Braless! It will pull the wrinkles from your face.

God gave man a brain and a pe*is and only enough blood to operate one at a time.

Grow Your Own Dope, Plant A Man

Growing old is inevitable...Growing up is optional. <------ My Motto

HELP, I AM LOST AND CANNOT FIND MY BEER!

Hogwarts Dropout

Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.

House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.

I can't go to work today. The voices told me to stay home and clean the guns.

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

I gave up drugs, sex and booze...it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

I Get Enough Exercise Just Pushin’ My Luck

I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane. **For Simi**

I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions??

I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.

I pretend to work they pretend to pay me!

I tried being normal once . . .I didn't like it.

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead!

I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD. <------ *FOR BUBBIE!!*

I’m Not A Complete Idiot; Some Parts Are Missing.

If It Ain’t Broken... Fix It ‘Til It Is

If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba
The Hut?

[Sasha]

haaaahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! I'll put on some more when the baby sleeps ^.^ Those were awesome!!

[Urban Bucket]

yay! more!

[Persephone]

Good lord it's been FOREVAH!!!! Here's some more laughs!

Madness and genius are separated only by degrees of success.

I'll be right back. Scream if anyone dies.

I would date if I could find a guy worth shaving my legs for.

Are you intoxicated or just insane?

Women are not moody. We simply have days when we are less inclined to put up with your crap.

Evil, beware. We have waffles.

[Sasha]

hahaha!!! I like the second to last one best!

[Persephone]

You would.

[Sasha]

of course. i love the truth ^.^